Battle of the Bulge...AGAIN?! *ugggh*

Okay, ladies- I know our dirty little secret is what the scale REALLY says.  I know all of you 30 & 40 something folks still have your college weight on your driver's license.  How do I know?  Because we are one.  Sadly, I too am guilty of being in denial about what the scale really says and every driver's license renewal, I remain in denial and tell the DMV personell to simply keep the weight within 5lbs of what it was when I passed my drivers exam eons ago!  So, its time for me to do REAL TALK!  This is putting me in quite the vulnerable spot, but that's the point of this blog- to create & explore those "uncomfortable" spots that otherwise may slide through the cracks.

When I was 13 years old, I weighed 196lbs.  I believe that was my heaviest weight (without having a baby inside my tummy).  Way before Jennifer Hudson made Weight Watchers (WW)what it is quickly becoming, I joined WW at the age of 13 as recommended by my pediatrician and within 5 months lost over 50lbs.  It was an amazingly fast process....but, it was the beginning of a lifetime journey.

I have always had to be very aware of my weight and how I eat and the activity of my lifestyle.  I've known the importance of portion control, increased fiber, low carbs, lean proteins, whole grains, leafy veggies and fresh fruits for decades.  So much that it often boggles me that others aren't as versed on such nutritional facts.  Then reality quickly taps my shoulder and reminds me that while this is my journey, that doesn't mean its the journey of others. 

Through my teens, 20's and early 30's it was fairly simple to maintain a healthy weight within 5-10 pounds of my "goal weight"....then baby #2 came.  You see, baby #1 fools your body a bit.  Your body gains the weight and makes you go into varying panic modes thinking the fat will never leave.  But then (especially for those who breastfeed) you notice, wow!  This baby weight does actually leave (although flat pancake breasts weren't really what you were imagining with the weight loss).  You feel accomplished.  You feel as though you have beaten the odds.  You can say,  "I returned to pre-pregnancy weight.  I did it!"  Then, some of us have baby #2.  Ooooohhhh....ewwwww.....hmmmmm.....so, yeah, my baby #2 turns 5 next month and, um, I'm still waiting for my pre-pregnancy weight!

I should clarify- I actually did lose baby#2 weight after training for a half marathon when my son was 6 months old.  But, the day after the race, the baby weight started to return....somehow.  And, now 4 years later, I'm at a place where I'm like "ENOUGH!!"  I refuse to continue to be on this hiatus of not shopping because I don't want to buy a bigger size.  I refuse to continue to simply wear the same sweats, same jeans, same everything due to not wanting to face the fact that I do wear a size bigger than I'd like.  I refuse to spend my last year of my 30's feeling bigger than desired.  I refuse to be a psychotic-neurotic-work-out-aholic who only eats steamed vegetables.  I want normalcy, but I know I must crank this body up in the "uncomfortable" zone.  So, the battle of the bulge is on AGAIN (can you hear me hissing and growling like a a mad dog!)

But...I'm excited!  I rejoined weight watchers, I'm cranking up my workouts and will begin training with a personal trainer next week. Furthermore, what is very different than my usual, I'm telling others about this next phase of my journey to give myself more accountability.  I'm putting it out into the Universe.  I'm waiting for the boomerang effect- put it out there and receive what you desire and need.

Where are you with your lifestyle?  Are you at a healthy weight?  Are you exercising, eating in a healthy manner, playing outside or inside?  Or are you simply watching shows like The Biggest Loser sitting in awe and an hour later grabbing a bowl of ice cream?  Taking the time to commit ourselves to a healthy lifestyle is HARD!  It seems easy on paper, but, when stress comes along or disappointments, or even successes, we often jump off the track and have a hard time finding our way back.  Well, grab your flashlight, get in sync with your internal divinity, and find that track.  Those of you already on the track, make sure you have extra batteries to keep your flashlight bright so that you can stay on track and shine your light onto others.  Create healthy living groups, get a walking partner, grab a running mate, join groups that support your healthy living journey.  I am a part of your journey, even if its from a far.  I hope you join my circle as well... because I surely need you:-)

Peace & blessngs,
KMJ