Often I feel as though fathers get a bit slighted on Father's Day. Well, at least compared to Mother's Day. It seems as though weeks in advance there are advertisements promoting Mother's Day and families plan trips and marathon gatherings to celebrate moms and motherhood. Don't get me wrong, I'm a mother and I understand the hype given the level of energy that is required for motherhood. But, why does it seem as though Father's Day gets less attention? I do see pre-Father's Day advertisements, but clearly the marketing gurus have identified it as not needing as heavy of a marketing plan. And now with the days of social media where everyone can share both random and intentional thoughts, I often shake my head when I see someone's status update and/or tweet suggest either overtly or covertly that somehow fathers are less than their counterparts or that their father is the exception to the "typical" deadbeat dad. Yes, there are deadbeat dads...and deadbeat moms....shucks, there are deadbeat PARENTS! But, with the case of fathers, I wonder what came first (classic chicken or the egg)? Is it that some dads were first deadbeats and the consequence is scorn or has our quick-to-run-to scorn attitude created deadbeat dads?...
Well, given its Father's Day and I try to live with optimism, I will not allow this blogpost to go into the critical analysis of the scorned father. Instead, I will celebrate and honor the beauty of fathers. Let's start with my father, or "Daddy" as I've called him my entire 38 years. I won't go into a philosophical narrative about how my father has influenced the various aspects of my life, but I will go on a bit of a rant about my father's biggest influence- music!
My father is a percussionist/drummer. Not professionally, but absolutely soulfully. I suppose I should say an amatuer musician to be politically correct; but that seems a bit mediocre for his talent and his respect for the craft of music. When you grow up in a house full of percussive instruments ( a drum kit, congas, bongos, caracas, and maracas), 45 inch albums neatly lined up in a cabinet, classic album covers posted on walls and overhead shelves, custom stereo equipment and a sound system that could blow out any coliseum, a piano, a flute, tape decks, and 8 tracks, you simply believe that all of this is quite normal. When you grow up with a father that beats on any and everything (tables, steering wheels, walls, chairs, cups, dashboards, etc), you believe that too is quite normal. When you grow up in a musical wonderland, your "normal" is this. Just like any child's "normal" is their environment, whether it be positive or negative. My father granted me with the gift of music. And not just a passion to play a musical instrument, but a passion to LISTEN to music with a keen ear and to embrace diverse music which ultimately allows your creative barometer to soar! Thank you, Daddy. Thank you.
Now I watch my husband father our two sons and I wonder, what is their "normal"? What does he convey that they consciously and subconsciously absorb on a daily basis? We fill our home with music because that's all I know. We also fill our home with opportunities to play and imagine...at least I believe we do, but I suppose we won't know how they have received their normal until they are adults. The one thing I know and have faith in is that their father is always there for them. Whether it be teaching them how to dribble a basketball with both the left and right hands or how to understand the differences between positive consequences and negative consequences depending on personal choices, he has been there to give them the gift of being dynamic & having integrity...or at least this is what I think. But, our sons' abilities to cope and live productive lives later in adulthood will reveal the truth of it all.
What has your father given you? Even if you've never met your father or care not to see your father or only wish your father were still here....he gave you something seen and unseen. How has this impacted your "normal" and might this be an opportunity to grow and develop a new normal or simply celebrate the normal by which you live? Fathers are a blessing, seen and unseen. All of us have a story that didn't begin in adulthood. The missing father has a "normal" as well, which inevitably impacts how effective he is able to be present in the life of his children. My father was present, but not perfect. But, the primary gift he gave me is one of the things I cherish most in my life- a passion for music and the arts. I used to take my "normal" for granted. Thankfully I now know better, so I do better. I now make every effort to nurture God-given talents as well as those granted by my father.
Finally, on this day that we celebrate fathers, consider taking the time to not only give gratitude, but to also reflect on the gifts given to you by your father. Ultimately, our Divine Father grants us with the perfect earthly father for our personal journey. Thank you, Daddy:-)
Peace & Blessings,
KMJ
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
In Flow: The O Factor
Oprah's farewell season 25 is officially over. The 9am weekday spot (4pm everywhere other than Chicago) is no longer Oprah's divine hour. My subliminal mentor is moving to her next chapter. Her energy flow is drifting into a new sphere....
Its taken me some time to truly gather all of my feelings and reactions towards Oprah bidding farewell. Its quite foreign having someone who has made such a cultural shift not exactly being gone, but not really being present as we know it. Actually, its plain weird! I mean, she's not dead. She's not sick. She's not retired. She's simply not doing "The Oprah Winfrey Show." So, its goodbye to a show, not a person.
I could go on and on about how Oprah has influenced me through the years and how I've been a loyal watcher since I was 13 and that I've learned countless lessons, blah, blah, blah....but, this blog is intended to go a bit deeper. Hence, as I reflect, I realize that initially Oprah was merely a tv figure for me years ago, then she transitioned into a more familiar space, somewhat like a girlfriend. Then there was more development and she felt like family, like the aunt who is always there for you. Then she elevated and became more of a godmother....then a teacher....then a mentor...and as I followed her energy I began to develop and gain better insight into my own moral compass, spiritual beliefs and ultimate purpose. Finally, the lessons she has taught in the recent two years are not only familiar but they are what I now know as truth. My truth. So, now, she is my spiritual companion.
In her final episode, she stated that the audience and viewers were now graduating from her class, should take these lessons and live their lives to the next level. This is true whether or not you believe in Oprah or what has come to be known as the "O" factor. I truly feel that I've learned so much about myself, my response to others' conditions, my biases, and the list goes on and on simply by tuning into Oprah's show and hearing the personal stories of others. The special part is that I also feel very grounded and in touch with my internal energy flow. I am living according to the Divinity within and there is a clear flow that is moving fluidly by me simply staying authentic in how I live and treat others. Oprah would be proud.
I am very, very, very sad that I will no longer have DVR'd episodes of Oprah to catch up nightly and I'm honestly slightly annoyed that I didn't make it to a live taping of an Oprah show during this farewell season. But, then I'm reminded, I now have an entire NETWORK to breath Oprah's energy. I am reminded that while I didnt attend a live show this past season, I did attend a show several years ago and more importantly, Oprah was in my living room daily. I am reminded that I am in flow and the "O" factor is probably even more present than ever because now we must all truly seek and live what Oprah has promoted all along. We are graduates. Its time for us to fly and create new mini-Oprah moments (a-ha moments and all!). We have the power to not only receive such gracious energy but to also perpetuate the flow of energy that Oprah has presented. The issue of men being sexually abused and needing to tell their stories, the concept of divine internal energy and the importance of connecting to your core flow to become aligned with God, the importance of living your best life including healthy eating and living. All of these and more platforms were presented and it is now our responsibility to carry on. We have the recipe to know better; therefore, let's do better.
Thank you Oprah for your courage, your commitment to service, and your tenacity while staying true to your Divine flow in sharing your gifts. Are you sharing your gifts? More importantly, are you nurturing them so that you may have a core joy that's unbreakable? I plan to unwrap my innate gifts and explore those that are seemingly hidden. Like Oprah consistently demonstrated, I hope to share my gifts with others as I stay in alignment with my Divine flow...
Peace & blessings,
KMJ
Its taken me some time to truly gather all of my feelings and reactions towards Oprah bidding farewell. Its quite foreign having someone who has made such a cultural shift not exactly being gone, but not really being present as we know it. Actually, its plain weird! I mean, she's not dead. She's not sick. She's not retired. She's simply not doing "The Oprah Winfrey Show." So, its goodbye to a show, not a person.
I could go on and on about how Oprah has influenced me through the years and how I've been a loyal watcher since I was 13 and that I've learned countless lessons, blah, blah, blah....but, this blog is intended to go a bit deeper. Hence, as I reflect, I realize that initially Oprah was merely a tv figure for me years ago, then she transitioned into a more familiar space, somewhat like a girlfriend. Then there was more development and she felt like family, like the aunt who is always there for you. Then she elevated and became more of a godmother....then a teacher....then a mentor...and as I followed her energy I began to develop and gain better insight into my own moral compass, spiritual beliefs and ultimate purpose. Finally, the lessons she has taught in the recent two years are not only familiar but they are what I now know as truth. My truth. So, now, she is my spiritual companion.
In her final episode, she stated that the audience and viewers were now graduating from her class, should take these lessons and live their lives to the next level. This is true whether or not you believe in Oprah or what has come to be known as the "O" factor. I truly feel that I've learned so much about myself, my response to others' conditions, my biases, and the list goes on and on simply by tuning into Oprah's show and hearing the personal stories of others. The special part is that I also feel very grounded and in touch with my internal energy flow. I am living according to the Divinity within and there is a clear flow that is moving fluidly by me simply staying authentic in how I live and treat others. Oprah would be proud.
I am very, very, very sad that I will no longer have DVR'd episodes of Oprah to catch up nightly and I'm honestly slightly annoyed that I didn't make it to a live taping of an Oprah show during this farewell season. But, then I'm reminded, I now have an entire NETWORK to breath Oprah's energy. I am reminded that while I didnt attend a live show this past season, I did attend a show several years ago and more importantly, Oprah was in my living room daily. I am reminded that I am in flow and the "O" factor is probably even more present than ever because now we must all truly seek and live what Oprah has promoted all along. We are graduates. Its time for us to fly and create new mini-Oprah moments (a-ha moments and all!). We have the power to not only receive such gracious energy but to also perpetuate the flow of energy that Oprah has presented. The issue of men being sexually abused and needing to tell their stories, the concept of divine internal energy and the importance of connecting to your core flow to become aligned with God, the importance of living your best life including healthy eating and living. All of these and more platforms were presented and it is now our responsibility to carry on. We have the recipe to know better; therefore, let's do better.
Thank you Oprah for your courage, your commitment to service, and your tenacity while staying true to your Divine flow in sharing your gifts. Are you sharing your gifts? More importantly, are you nurturing them so that you may have a core joy that's unbreakable? I plan to unwrap my innate gifts and explore those that are seemingly hidden. Like Oprah consistently demonstrated, I hope to share my gifts with others as I stay in alignment with my Divine flow...
Peace & blessings,
KMJ
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