The summer is winding down, my kids have returned to school, and various idling summer projects are quickly turning into fall projects. So, how does this make me feel? Interestingly enough, a bit blah...but in a good way!
Let's go deeper (after all, we are "creating crimson", not just "red":-). When I start feeling a bit "blah" which thankfully is not very often these days, it triggers me to think about what's REALLY going on? I begin to ask myself more serious questions to better understand the root of my "blahs" and that helps me get centered and develop a better understanding of how I'm playing a role in this whole "blah"-ness. Ta-da! Solutions!
I have been on a WHIRLWIND!!!! I mean a WHIIIIIIIRRRRLLLLL wind, and its time for the whirl to notch it down, WAY down! The past few years have been filled with the lowest of lows all the way to the highest of highs. I won't dwell on the lowest of the low in this post, but I will talk more about the highs. Funny, we always imagine what a "higher ground" looks like without ever really understanding the realities of such high ground...
Those of you who know me know that for the past two years I've returned to one of my deepest passions- music. This musical journey has been nothing less than amazing and on top of it all, I NEVER imagined the journey would even exist, let alone exist in prime fashion! Since 2009, I reconnected with my piano Petrof (yes, he has a name), took music theory classes, began vocal coaching, performed in a jazz ensemble, met uber talented musicians from all walks of life, worked with a grammy award winning producer and a producer who is the president of the Chicago chapter of the grammy's (recording artist association), completed an EP/CD, performed for music festivals, PBS, private parties, public parties, attended the grammy's....whoa....all extreme blessings in which I never even created a game plan! What??? Craziness...
And so now, this girl is TIRED! I admit it, I'm physically, mentally, & emotionally tired....but not spiritually tired. No, no...in fact, I'm more spiritually invigorated than ever which is why today I collect my permission slip! For what? My permission slip to CHILL OUT!
The idea of us creating our own permission slips may seem foreign, but we do it constantly. What exactly is a permission slip in this context? It's basically the energy we send out. If we send out negative energy to others, that is our "permission slip" for others to treat us like crap- or negatively. If we send out positive energy, that is our "permission slip" to receive good, healthy, lively, and authentic things. Example- say you decide you need to end a completely dysfunctional intimate relationship, but you've only intellectually made this decision...not emotionally or spiritually. Therefore, you send that email, or text, or facebook post, or tweet to say "be gone!" Hmph! Take that! But...spiritually, your energy is flat & emotionally you're still needy. How do you know? Because brotha-man or sista-girl keeps calling, texting, facebooking, & tweeting you back! You're like, "the nerve of them" and then you send just one more message back, that turns into 2, that then turns into 5...you know the deal. Essentially, you have given that person a "permission slip" to stay in your life- to keep calling, texting, etc. That person has not received energy from you that suggests they should behave otherwise.
Now, let's flip the script and describe those positive energies and their permission slips! Let's say you have been trying to get in shape and be healthy forever but have always been unsuccessful for too many reasons to list. But, then one day, you stop beating yourself up for the failures and start motivating yourself authentically- you stay committed, you create discipline, and you organize your lifestyle to meet your goals. Another ta-da! You've created a "permission slip" for yourself to be healthy and receive results. The scale may not say much, but your mood, energy, and overall better health say a ton which is most important.
Back to my current "permission slip"- as I said, I'm giving myself a permission slip to slow down, recuperate from this 2 year whirlwind, and focus on some other personal goals. I admit, the musical journey is one that can keep you going 100mph if you let it, but my spiritual season is telling me that music is who I am and I won't be neglecting it by simply taking the "whirl" out of the motion. In other words, I will continue to journey along in music, but I will also allow new interests to be nurtured while creating simple moments of stillness. As a mom, physical therapist, educator, musician, wife, and whatever other daily hat I wear, giving self a permission slip that is healthy can be quite an arduous task. But, I understand the importance of not feeling guilty for letting one thing become secondary while focusing on something else as long as balance & authenticity still exist.
Have you given yourself any permission slips lately? Positive or negative ones? Do you desperately need a healthy permission slip but somehow keep creating non-productive or wasteful permission slips? How do you make a change? I have several opinions on how to make that happen, but instead of going there, I suggest that you simply take a deep breath and take a moment to be honest with yourself. Journal, read, pray, exercise- whatever takes you to a place of stillness and relaxation while being your most authentic self. You'd be amazed at what stillness reveals. And once its revealed, your permission slip will be signed, sealed, delivered- and yours!:-)
Peace & blessings,
KMJ
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